Kathy’s Books
Appearances
As seen on the weekly Love & Marriage segment of Fox8
As heard co-hosting Relationship Thursdays on Q104
As seen as a guest relationship expert on iVillage.com
NEW! Listen to Kathy's 2-part interview with Trapper Jack and the Morning Show.
Part 1 Part 2Kathy Dawson is a member of the International Coach Federation
Step Outside of the Holiday Haze
It’s mid-December. The days are flying by. With each passing day, your to-do list shrinks, but is your relationship with your mate shrinking along with it? If your relationship feels like it’s at the back of the line behind shopping, wrapping, cookie-making, and card mailing, then the answer to that question is probably, “Yes.”
Contrary to popular belief, the holiday season is one of the best opportunities you and your mate have to devote time to your relationship. And here’s why:
* There are many more fun and festive things to do at this time of year.
* Your kids are still in school for another week, so you can take some time off for the two of you.
* The spirit of giving pulses through your veins this time of year, so give each other a chunk of quality time.You don’t want to live through another holiday season in a daze and a haze. For at least a few hours, step outside of the holiday haze and be in the moment with your mate. Do it just for the two of you!
The State Of The Economy Is No Reason For Divorce!
Studies show that money problems are one of the main causes of divorce. I often hear couples say that the reason they are divorcing is because they have financial problems. Little do they know, the reason they are getting divorced is NOT about money, but about the fact that they don’t know how to TALK about money!
Rather than talking below the surface about the topic of money, people often lead with their fear and blame the other person for the state of their finances. “You always charge too much on our credit card!” “You never pay the car payment on time!” “Why did you buy another suit?” “You didn’t need to buy another purse!” And it goes on and on.
Rather than playing the blame game, couples need to learn to talk about money matters on a feeling level rather than on a materialistic level. For example, “When I see our credit card bill go over $1000, I panic. I’m afraid we won’t have enough money saved to pay it off and the interest will build. I would like for us to work together within the next two weeks to put a plan in place for spending, saving, and paying off debt.”
What usually happens in relationships is people get overtaken by fear and don’t know how to think straight enough to communicate how they feel and what they want to have happen.
Number one rule of finances and relationships, especially in dire economic times: look beyond the dollars to the underlying feelings and then talk, talk, talk!
