Kathy’s Books
Appearances
As seen on the weekly Love & Marriage segment of Fox8
As heard co-hosting Relationship Thursdays on Q104
As seen as a guest relationship expert on iVillage.com
NEW! Listen to Kathy's 2-part interview with Trapper Jack and the Morning Show.
Part 1 Part 2Kathy Dawson is a member of the International Coach Federation
A Traffic Jam of Feelings
Purging, venting, otherwise known as … just plain getting it out, is something both men and women need to do. We humans tend to have feelings that now and then get bottlenecked within us. Whether they are feelings of anger, frustration, or hopelessness, we experience a traffic jam of emotion – a gridlock – that needs a chance to free itself. To get the traffic of feelings flowing again, sometimes we just need to vent.
Granted, women tend to vent more easily than men. Men often get quiet and look inside themselves to try to fix their problem, and therefore hold onto feelings longer than women. That’s why when a woman starts to unload on a man, his first response is often to give advice – that’s what he usually does for himself, so why not her? Because venting and advice are like oil and water. They don’t mix. As soon as a woman starts to unload, the best gift the man can do is take his “fix-it” hat off and just allow her to purge. Yes, it’s okay to insert questions once in awhile to show he is listening, but basically the guy is off the hook to solve anything. The only thing left for him to do is ask one question: “Would a hug help?”
Ahh, The Simple Things …
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. There is just something so cozy and reminiscent about sitting on the front porch as dusk sets in while hearing the sounds of children’s squeals of delight as they pop out of their homes all costumed and anticipatory.
My husband and I, and our Bichon-Poo dog, Rosie, do this every year together. Surrounded by the orange glow of plastic Halloween lights that trim our front door and the candlelight that peeks from the expression of a crookedly carved pumkin, we sit in our rockers and wait for the magic to begin. “Trick or Treat” we hear from tiny tots and pubescent teens. “Say ‘thank you’” comes from the voice of parents who smile wistfully as they remember the magic they felt not that long ago.
Trick or Treating only last for two hours, but it is such a special time for my husband and me. We spend much of it sharing our childhood memories of Halloween. We compare our taste in candy, while sampling each brand we have in our bowl. With children no longer at home, we dote over our dog, who we dress in costume each year. It’s a night of simple joys, simple things.
