Say Yes to Pre-Marital Coaching!

It warms my heart to see how many couples are coming into my office lately for work on their relationship before considering marriage. There is a new mindset growing in our country and it’s got prevention written all over it. Granted, not every problem can be avoided ahead of a marriage, but how you and your mate mishandle a problem can be avoided.

Looking at problems that keep popping up in a relationship is a smart use of energy. Spending time figuring out what part you play in the problem is key to prevention. Humility and accountability are your friends when it comes to facing what you’re doing that’s not working very well. And, yes, your partner must do the same thing!

This past spring and summer I was asked by the producers of a wildly popular reality show on TLC called “Say Yes to the Dress” to coach a couple in preparation for their wedding day and a spin-off special on TLC called “Say Yes to the Dress – The Big Day.” I worked with Kelly Miller and Roger Gasser on 3 separate occasions. By the time our third coaching session was complete (after a fair amount of drama), this couple was ready to tie the knot.

To watch Kelly and Roger’s pre-marital roller coaster ride, be sure to tune into “Say Yes to the Dress – The Big Day” on Friday, Oct. 14th at 10:00PM EST. Check your local listings for possible changes. To learn more about this TLC special, click here.

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October 5, 2011 | Filed Under getting relationship help before marriage, marriage counseling, relationship coaching | Leave a Comment 

Food Fight

It’s hard to change eating habits.  My husband and I are working on reducing our sugar intake.  We start out great each morning.  I use our juicer to make a carrot, collard green, kale, and apple drink for each of us (believe it or not, it’s very tasty). We have our oatmeal for breakfast, but by mid-afternoon we are craving sweets.  We fight the urge for most of the day, but after a healthy dinner of veggies and rice and beans or whole wheat pasta and a salad, we cave.  We end up making either a cookie run or a Starbucks stop.

We have decided to alternate being the heavy (no pun intended).  When one of us feels weak, the other will be strong.  Our goal is to give ourselves permission to feel weak at the same time and just indulge once during the weekend, reminding ourselves that change is about progress rather than perfection.  What one of us might not be able to do alone, we can do together!

April 17, 2010 | Filed Under marriage counseling, Relationships | 1 Comment 

A Life Without Boundaries Is No Life!

In my practice as a relationship coach, I am forever explaining that relationships are about boundaries.  Even with the people  whom you are the closest to, you must set limits at times.  Maybe you need space to be alone because you’ve had an especially stressful day.  Maybe you are uncomfortable with a sports activity someone is begging you to join.  Perhaps someone is urging you to have dessert and you want to skip it.  Or is someone speaking to you in an unacceptable way?  Whatever situation you are in with another person, give yourself permission to draw the line, set the limit, and say, “No.”

The sooner you learn to set boundaries, the sooner you will reclaim your life.  A life without boundaries means you are living someone else’s life, not your own.

April 9, 2010 | Filed Under marriage counseling, Relationships | 1 Comment