Technorati Tags: happy marriage, make marriage work

Listening is a key way to truly “BE” with someone, and listening is not waiting to talk.  Listening is meeting the person wherever he or she is at.  Your ego will try to get you to state your opinion and agree or disagree, which is the last thing your mate or your relationship needs.

Another way to “BE” with your mate is through quality time together.  Quality time is about simply enjoying each other’s company.  The activity or surroundings are secondary.

To get a real sense of what it means to “BE” with someone, I recommend you read a blog written by my son, Dave Dawson.  To read Dave’s Blog, click here.

Technorati Tags: communication in relationship, happy marriage

So this year, before you dig into the turkey dinner, make sure you dig deep and raise your glass to toast your mate.  Whether you plan to share your feast with your partner alone or with 20 or more people at your dinner table, proclaim your gratitude with a toast!

Technorati Tags: appreciate your mate, being grateful for spouse, gratitude

1. If you are in an abusive situation, regardless of the financial strain, you need to seek safety.  Most cities have organizations to help battered spouses and children.  In Cleveland, The Domestic Violence Center and Women Safe are two such organizations.  They have a 24/7 help hotline.
2. If safety isn’t a concern, work to minimize conflicts while under the same roof with your mate by identify each other’s hot buttons and avoiding them.  For example, if your mate is not a morning person, avoid approaching him or her at that time of day.  Assess when are the optimum times to interact.
3. Learn to let go of things that in the big scheme of things are not worth arguing about.  For example, if your mate is neat and you’re not, you may need to let go of every thing being in its place.
4. If you have children, for the sake of their peace and sanity, keep your schedules as consistent as possible.  It’s tough, but it will go a long way in reducing stress for everyone.  Make your main goal to be civil to one another.  Take the high road as often as possible.
5. If you are unemployed, this living situation will be a major motivator to find work.  Keep up with your networking and resume building.

This situation is not forever, so show up as a grown up while you’re under the same roof.  Through it all, you just might realize divorce may not need to be an option after all.

Technorati Tags: divorce, marriage, stress of divorce

The ceremony was held on the groom’s parents’ property, which was once a 300-acre farm in upstate NY.  This couple was married outside upon a hill that overlooked Vermont.  Rose petals marked the grassy aisle the bride walked down to meet her soon-to-be husband, beyond which was a trellis that framed them as they exchanged their vows.

After a short, but memorable ceremony, all went behind the 19th century home and celebrated by dancing, drinking, and eating specialty pizza made from organic ingredients and baked in a brick oven the size of a large SUV.

As the sun set, candles were lit and guests sat on the hillside and listened to the sounds of a rock band.  Stars began to shine as tents popped up on the property.  It was truly Woodstockesque.  May this couple continue to put their unique stamp on all that they do, as individuals and as a couple.

Technorati Tags: happy marriage, marriage, memorable wedding

I can remember Al planting what would have been a 10-second kiss on Tipper, had she let him.  She pulled away before the second hand made it that far.  Could there have been a sign way back then that trouble was brewing?

Can’t help but see the irony in that the Clintons, who were dragged through the mud for years with the Monica Lewinsky affair, are still together, and yet the Gores are the ones apparently having serious enough troubles that may lead to a permanent break.

The Gores strike me as people who wouldn’t make a quick, rash decision, so my guess is they have or will see a professional along the way.  I’m sure we’ll hear about it.

Technorati Tags: divorce, long marriage in trouble

With a raspy morning voice, she answers, “Hello?”  Our cue.  We belt out our traditional rendition of “Happy Birthday,” knowing she is lying in bed with eyes still shut, but with her mouth open in the shape of a smile.  ”Thanks, guys,” she says.  ”I’m going back to sleep.” Before ending the call, we say in unison, “We love you!”  The call ends and we high-five one another for a job well done.

Technorati Tags: children, love

At a young age, this child was already forming a sweeping perception based on his parents behavior: Married people don’t date.  If this couple remains consistent in their dating, they will be able to quickly turn their son’s perception around so that he will forever remember that his married parents liked each other enough to want to spend time alone together.  Now that’s an impression worth making!

Technorati Tags: dating, saving your marriage

Technorati Tags: dating your spouse, marriage