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Appearances
As seen on the weekly Love & Marriage segment of Fox8
As heard co-hosting Relationship Thursdays on Q104
As seen as a guest relationship expert on iVillage.com
NEW! Listen to Kathy's 2-part interview with Trapper Jack and the Morning Show.
Part 1 Part 2Kathy Dawson is a member of the International Coach Federation
Meet Me In The Soup Kitchen
One of the best ways I know of to begin a relationship with someone is through volunteering. Instead of spending time in a bar or a gathering with your main motive being to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, why not set that agenda aside and give back with no other reason than to help in some way.
Personal connections happen when you least expect them to, especially when you are busy building a house, filling up grocery bags at a food bank, or doing any of the other innumerable things to give back to your community. To learn about an exceptional volunteer organization that brings singles together, click here.
Vulnerability in Relationships
Researcher, social worker, and terrific story teller, Brene Brown, speaks out on the aspect of vulnerability in relationships. In a decade of research, she studied men and women who faltered in their sense of worthiness – people who continually wondered if they were good enough. What she found was that those feeling the most connected and worthy were those who were the most vulnerable. For example, these people would say, “I love you” or risk doing something on a personal or professional level that might not work out. To them, living whole-heartedly was worth the risk of feeling vulnerable, for it led them to practice gratitude and joy and come to the final conclusion that who they are is enough. To hear Brene Brown speak on this topic, click here.
Children the New Spouses?
In her new book, Marriage Confidential, Pamela Haag says that in today’s world, “Children have become the new spouses.” She talks about how in semi-happy marriages, the children take center stage, putting the marriage lower on the priority list. I couldn’t agree more. Currently, in our culture, more and more parents make their kids the focal point by making their children’s activities the most important priority. I think that’s a mistake. Children need to know that Mommy and Daddy love them, no doubt. More importantly, though, kids need to know Mommy and Daddy love each other. For example, scheduling a date with each other and working the kids’ activities around the date, rather than the other way around is a good first step. To read Glamour Magazine’s interview with Pamela Haag, click here.
Winnie the Pooh Knows How To “Be”
One of the best gifts you can give yourself, your mate, and your marriage or committed relationship is to learn to “BE” with the other person. When I say “BE” with the person, I mean set aside any mental agenda you might have in the moment.
Listening is a key way to truly “BE” with someone, and listening is not waiting to talk. Listening is meeting the person wherever he or she is at. Your ego will try to get you to state your opinion and agree or disagree, which is the last thing your mate or your relationship needs.
Another way to “BE” with your mate is through quality time together. Quality time is about simply enjoying each other’s company. The activity or surroundings are secondary.
To get a real sense of what it means to “BE” with someone, I recommend you read a blog written by my son, Dave Dawson. To read Dave’s Blog, click here.
Raise Your Glass!
It’s the season for gratitude, and not just for turkey and stuffing, but for those people in your life who mean the most to you. Your mate may be top on your gratitude list, but might not know it if you don’t announce it once in awhile. There’s no better time than during the Thanksgiving holiday to say what is on your mind and in your heart.
So this year, before you dig into the turkey dinner, make sure you dig deep and raise your glass to toast your mate. Whether you plan to share your feast with your partner alone or with 20 or more people at your dinner table, proclaim your gratitude with a toast!
