FREE! Top 10 Tips
Sign up for "News from Coach Kathy," a free monthly newsletter full of great relationship tips and advice. To receive your own copy,
PLUS your FREE Report - the Top Ten Tips for a long Lasting Relationship
please enter your email address below:
For Email Newsletters you can trustKathy’s Books
Appearances
As seen on the weekly Love & Marriage segment of Fox8
As heard co-hosting Relationship Thursdays on Q104
As seen as a guest relationship expert on iVillage.com
NEW! Listen to Kathy's 2-part interview with Trapper Jack and the Morning Show.
Part 1 Part 2Kathy Dawson is a member of the International Coach Federation
Can Your Relationship Survive Football Season?
This morning I am appearing on Good Company on WKYC – Channel 3 to talk about the effect of football season on a marriage or relationship. This time of year sometimes makes a spouse or partner feel like a sports widow or widower. Below are some tips on how to avoid this scenario:
1. BE PROACTIVE! Sit down as a couple at least a week ahead of time to make sure you’re on the same page about how many games and which games are being watched or attended. No one likes surprises, especially when it cuts into quality time together.
2. To balance football TV time with other life activities, it’s important for the sports partner to INITIATE several things:
a) Ask your mate if you can do anything during the week that is chore-related. ”What can I do to help you this week?” is a wonderful way to create balance.
b) Initiate quality time together by saying, “I’ll plan a date for the two of us this week.”
c) Ask your mate if he or she would like “me time” during the week.
3. In defense of the sports partner, the mate who isn’t so much into football needs to make a valiant effort at spending time learning the game and watching the game once in awhile.
When it comes to football season, or any sports for that matter, it’s all about balance!
When You Can’t Afford to Get Divorced
It can make a bad situation worse, or just maybe it can make it better. Can you imagine wanting to get divorced, but not being able to because you simply can’t afford it? This was the topic discussed during my appearance on WKYC Channel 3′s Good Company show last week. Between the cost of attorney fees, obtaining a new residence, the move, and the likelihood that you won’t make any money from the sale of your house, getting divorce could bankrupt you! So what to do? Below is a list of strategies to maintain your sanity and, in some cases, your safety:
- If you are in an abusive situation, regardless of the financial strain, you need to seek safety. Most cities have organizations to help battered spouses and children. In Cleveland, The Domestic Violence Center and Women Safe are two such organizations. They have a 24/7 help hotline.
- If safety isn’t a concern, work to minimize conflicts while under the same roof with your mate by identify each other’s hot buttons and avoiding them. For example, if your mate is not a morning person, avoid approaching him or her at that time of day. Assess when are the optimum times to interact.
- Learn to let go of things that in the big scheme of things are not worth arguing about. For example, if your mate is neat and you’re not, you may need to let go of every thing being in its place.
- If you have children, for the sake of their peace and sanity, keep your schedules as consistent as possible. It’s tough, but it will go a long way in reducing stress for everyone. Make your main goal to be civil to one another. Take the high road as often as possible.
- If you are unemployed, this living situation will be a major motivator to find work. Keep up with your networking and resume building.
This situation is not forever, so show up as a grown up while you’re under the same roof. Through it all, you just might realize divorce may not need to be an option after all.
Drama – Free Vacations!
Is it possible to have a drama-free summer vacation? I answered that question during an appearance on Channel 3′s Good Company Show this morning. I made several suggestions to help you and your mate (with or without kids) reduce drama during your trip.
- Meet as a couple or as a family at least one week before your vacation to make sure you are on the same page in the following areas:
- Be clear on your vacation “theme.” Is the theme of your vacation relaxation or activity? If it’s a mix of both, be sure to understand how much relaxation and activity each person wants.
- Talk about your food expectations. How much fine dining do you want to do? Do you want to cook on vacation? Would you rather dine casually the entire time?
- Will this be a techno-free vacation or will you be bringing your laptop or Blackberry?
- Have an exit plan. Make sure you exit your home to leave for your vacation in as calm and orderly way as possible. How you leave your home sets the tone for traveling.
- If you are driving, avoid arguing while your motor vehicle is in motion! If you feel an argument coming on, pull over.
- Have had a discussion with your mate in advance as to what your budget is for the trip. What you agree to spend on the vacation may help determine the trip’s theme and dining decisions.
BON VOYAGE!
Long Distance Dining
Many, many couples maintain a long distance relationship and it’s tough. Although there are more ways to connect today with the advent of technology, it is still a challenge to keep an emotional tie when life doles out so many distractions. I know a young couple who has come up with a creative way to utilize a particular tie that binds.
Because one of them is in Cleveland and the other is in Boston, they obviously can’t dine together. They haven’t let the distance issue stop them, however. Every once in awhile this couple will pick a restaurant they know has locations in Boston and Cleveland and order in from that restaurant. It turns out to be a dinner by phone rather than by candlelight, but it works for them as they feel a special bond while eating from the same restaurant. This idea of long distance dining is but one of the tools they use to help them stay connected over several states.
In the Doghouse
Today in Cleveland’s Plain Dealer, Michael Heaton talks about how guys can avoid landing in the doghouse. He states two basic ways men can avoid getting into big, big trouble with their significant others. Way #1 is to initiate a call to their mate when they know they are going to be late or have to change plans. Immobilized in fear that they will get “yelled at,” guys often avoid being proactive. Wrong move! Heaton is right when he says that calling asap with a change in plans is the best choice a man can make.
Heaton says Way #2 for a guy to stay out of the doghouse is for him to admit when he’s made a mistake. Bingo! If a guy screws up and says, “I was wrong,” he automatically ratchets up his trustworthiness and integrity .
