FREE! Top 10 Tips
Sign up for "News from Coach Kathy," a free monthly newsletter full of great relationship tips and advice. To receive your own copy,
PLUS your FREE Report - the Top Ten Tips for a long Lasting Relationship
please enter your email address below:
For Email Newsletters you can trustKathy’s Books
Appearances
As seen on the weekly Love & Marriage segment of Fox8
As heard co-hosting Relationship Thursdays on Q104
As seen as a guest relationship expert on iVillage.com
NEW! Listen to Kathy's 2-part interview with Trapper Jack and the Morning Show.
Part 1 Part 2Kathy Dawson is a member of the International Coach Federation
Winnie the Pooh Knows How To “Be”
One of the best gifts you can give yourself, your mate, and your marriage or committed relationship is to learn to “BE” with the other person. When I say “BE” with the person, I mean set aside any mental agenda you might have in the moment.
Listening is a key way to truly “BE” with someone, and listening is not waiting to talk. Listening is meeting the person wherever he or she is at. Your ego will try to get you to state your opinion and agree or disagree, which is the last thing your mate or your relationship needs.
Another way to “BE” with your mate is through quality time together. Quality time is about simply enjoying each other’s company. The activity or surroundings are secondary.
To get a real sense of what it means to “BE” with someone, I recommend you read a blog written by my son, Dave Dawson. To read Dave’s Blog, click here.
Right On, Terry Pluto!
I can’t let anymore time go by without acknowledging the on-the-mark points Terry Pluto made in his Plain Dealer column this past Sunday. The title of his column is “Guidelines for Keeping Your Marriage on Solid Ground.” Here is a condensed version of some of the points he makes:
1. Build your marital house on rock, so when trouble comes it can’t be washed away.
2. If communication breaks down, a relationship can easily be reduced to exchanges about daily “stuff,” or it can collapse completely.
3. Is money spent on things you don’t need, only to impress people you don’t even know?
4. Talk/pray about any major financial decision before acting on it, even if you have to wait 24 hours before the purchase.
5. Look to yourself and to God to help you find happiness, rather than depending on your mate to create it for you.
6. Stop scorekeeping. Rather than complaining about what your spouse isn’t doing to help you, think about what you can do to help your spouse.
7. Criticize the action rather than the person. Phrases like, “It was a bad idea when you were late and didn’t call me,” work much better than, “You’re always late,” or “You never call.”
8. To the men, make eye contact with your wife when listening to her. To do otherwise shows you’re not listening.
9. To the women, give your husband time to decompress at the end of the day before telling him what needs to be done.
10. Find a service/ministry you and your mate can provide for others.
Acronym of Love
I know a couple that, for years, has used an acronym to remind themselves of their love for one another. This code word shows up on notes, at the end of letters, and even on a brass puzzle-shaped key chain each of them carries, the two pieces of which join to make one. The acronym they use is “BARILY,” which means “Babe Always Remember I Love You.”
Over time, this couple’s three children broke the code. So when this acronym occasionally pops up here and there, it’s a reminder to these kids that their parents keep connected in their own special way. It’s amazing how a six-letter word that can’t be found in any dictionary can have so much meaning.
