The Pitfall of “He” and “She”

It’s a small blip on your relationship screen, but it can be telling. One of the red flags in your relationship can be when you and your mate are together with another person and one of you refers to the other as “He” or “She.” I’ve seen it happen many times. You’re in conversation with someone else other than your mate, who is standing or sitting next you. You’re talking about something involving your mate and instead of saying, “John took a trip last week,” or “Karen started a new job yesterday,” you say “He took a trip last week,” or “she started a new job yesterday.” Oops – there it is. A third person reference as if your mate is not even in the room. Big boo-boo.

Communication 101. When referring to someone (especially your mate) in the presence of someone else, you always say his or her name. Referring to that person as “He” or “She” is a subtle sign of disrespect. Done unintentionally and rarely is permissible. Done chronically and it’s a red flag.

Refer to your mate by name. He or she is standing right there!

September 15, 2009 | Filed Under Uncategorized 

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